Tina Fey Interview

When adoration and imagination run a muck:

(Tina and I sit in plush, matching recliners while balancing plates of Night Cheese on our laps and wearing Snuggies. And yes, she is interviewing ME, not the other way around. That should give you a hint to the reality of this "interview".)

LZ: Tina, let me say before we even get started, that I knew something good was going to happen today when I saw that my speedometer read, 77,777. 

TF: Mine too! So Lauren, believe it or not, I've brought you here to my home to talk to you about the array of dishes you created out of a Costco-size, bag of limes.

LZ: Really, Tina? Are you sure it's not because you have that new book Bossypants out and you wanted to boost your sales?

TF: Your blog has how many followers again?

LZ: One hundred and twenty.

TF: Are you supposed to say the "and"?

LZ: Probably not, but I felt it made it sound more adequate.

TF: Well, since we are on the subject of my book, have you read it?

LZ: Yes, I have...well, parts of it. Actually the front and back cover to be exact. It was while I was shopping in Target the other day. I'm happy to say that I'm number 155 in line to get it next from the library. So it looks like I should be able to finish reading it around July. That should make you feel good.

TF: Why because so many people are eager to not pay for it?

LZ: No, to show you how popular you are.

TF: Hmm, maybe I should do a reading at my local library.

LZ: Brilliant! See, we are working like a team already!

TF: Who said anything about a team?

LZ: Just me. So what cheese are you eating? Mines a 15 month old English cheddar. Sounds young for a human but that's pretty old for a cheese.


TF: Um, just a good, middle-aged Gouda.

LZ: And do you use an actual cheese knife?

TF: When I can. Cheese knives are so pretentious, don't you think?

LZ: Totally. I really feel like we are bonding.

TF: (takes another bite of her Gouda while humming. Neither denies nor confirms my statement. Therefore, it must mean "maybe". Fingers crossed.)

LZ: You know, I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Alec Baldwin about the limes...

TF: Who?

LZ: Don't worry, I turned him down. I just can't forgive him for cheating on Tess in Working Girl. Besides, he said he had a yachting tournament to attend. We both know it wouldn't have worked.

TF: He uses that one on me all the time. Yacht is code for "No way, Jose".

LZ: I'll remember that the next time I call.

TF: Back to the bag 'o limes (Tina does an awkward Irish jig in her recliner and we both giggle), how did you transport them?

LZ: Well, "lugging" would be a good word, Tina, also, "hoisting" could work. They were moderately heavy. I hoisted them into the back of my dented mini-van, on top of the stroller that I never take out and next to a ladybug kite that flaps in the wind every time I roll down the windows and adjacent to an old dirty diaper. Your breath never smells like you ate an old dirty diaper, does it Liz Lemon?

TF: So you were listening.

LZ: It's understood that I love 30 Rock. Who else would arrange for our Night Cheese platters?

TF: That was you? Genius, except it's not night time...

LZ: (Screaming like a toddler in my head) She called me "genius!!!"

TF: But no matter, I'm thinking of changing it to Anytime Cheese or Spontaneous Cheese.

LZ: Again, we are back to team work, and it feels good.

TF: I've got to admit, this could work.

LZ: I think I just peed a little.

TF: Well, your paying to have your recliner cleaned then.

LZ: Don't worry, I rented these from a prop store. It'll dry.

TF: You rented recliners?...for my house?

LZ: And?

TF: Cool.

LZ: I made a delightful Lime- Herb Rubbed Salmon out of the limes. Want to hear about it?

TF: Not really. I want to hear about the worst combination of foods you have ever eaten.

LZ: Chicken curry followed by a bowl of raisin bran, while pregnant.

TF: That's pretty bad.

LZ: The pregnant part only explains half of it.

TF: And the other half?

LZ: I'm not sure I follow.

TF: About the curry-raisin-bran combo?

LZ: I'm an enigma.

TF: Clearly.

LZ: So when do we start branching out in our BBQ bottling ventures?

TF: I was unaware...

LZ: You didn't get that memo?

TF: Firstly, I don't care for BBQ and secondly, I know nothing about bottling.


LZ: Schlemiel, schlimazel, (mumbles)...

TF and LZ: (in unison) INCORPORATED!

TF: Inspiring but I'm going to have to turn you down on the BBQ sauce.

LZ: Penny Marshall was at the top of her game!

TF: Really.

LZ: Okay, answer me this: Does Jack Donaghy love the microwave?

TF: Alright, you got me. I could always use something else to do. What do we name our sauce?

LZ: Two Hot Babes BBQ Sauce?

TF: Only one of us is hot.

LZ: Thanks, Tina. Okay, how about 30 Ribs BBQ Sauce?

TF: I get it...but, no.

LZ: You're the comedy writer, you think of something.

TF: Okay, sure, no problem. (eats yet another slice of cheese) How about "BBQ Blaster" and we put it in a squirt gun?

LZ: Kinda like Cheesy Blasters, but BBQ sauce?

TF: Um, yeah.

LZ: It's alright. I guess I was expecting more, Tina. I mean, you're the Tina Fey. You get paid millions, consequently billions to do this stuff. BBQ Blaster? I'll give you points for the the squirt gun.

TF: Thanks, I guess.

LZ: I think the next step is to get our hairnets on and get to work on making, what's it called again?

TF: (sheepishly) BBQ Blaster.

LZ: We're going to have to work on that Tina. I still like 30 Ribs.

TF: Okay, Bossypants.

~

Firstly, I must say, anything written on behalf of the fabulous Tina Fey, was not said by her at all. Just what I wish she were to say if we got to hang out.

And because I am a behind-the-scenes kind of girl, here's what went down while I was writing this nonsense:

I fixed a Batman mask, fed my kids breakfast, ate a bowl of raisin bran (what can I say, I love fiber...just about as much as I love cheese. Good thing too.), wrote a grocery list, broke up numerous sibling fights, knocked over the box of Cherrios, swept it up, stepped on several, said fake curse words in my frustration, looked up how to spell "yacht" and "Donaghy", let the kids watch too much television, said "no" to a Wiggles movie seventeen times, stubbed my toe, announced again that I need a pedicure, put my oldest son in his Buzz Lightyear costume, threatened to not let my kids have a cookie at Whole Foods if they didn't stop hitting each other, listened to 3 whining sessions and planned this weeks menu in my head. Tina is so worth it.

What would be the coolest thing ever? That Tina would read this. That she might Google herself and have the patience to go to the 89th page of Google search to read this post...and possibly ask me to do a guest appearance on 30 Rock or do the BBQ sauce thing. I'm up for whatever. I'm pretty sure there are six degrees of separation between us, I just don't know what they are.

Love Ya, Foodies!

P.s. Here's the recipe for the delicious Lime-Herb Rubbed Salmon I was trying to tell Tina about:

Lime-Herb Rubbed Salmon

generously feeds 2

zest of one lime
minced fresh herbs, I used rosemary, thyme and basil- handful of each
1/2 clove fresh garlic, grated on microplane or minced very finely
1-2 tbsp. olive oil

Mix all this together and make a paste. Apply it to approx. 3/4 lb. of fresh Wild Alaskan salmon (I used Sockeye). Let it set for a good 30 minutes.

Get your pan very hot over medium heat. Sprinkle salmon on both sides with salt and pepper. Sear on both sides for 3 min. each. Remove salmon and turn heat down. Add 1-2 tbsp. butter (depending on how bad you want to be) and let it melt in the pan, slightly browning. Squeeze the juice of 1/2 lime into the butter and quickly pour it over the salmon. I served it with a herb, soft polenta but it would be good with roasted potatoes or even some pasta.

Giada and Me: Salmon in Lemon Brodetto with Pea Puree

I got some cook books from the library the other day to get ideas for photographing food. Trying to teach myself "composition". I hastily grabbed a couple of Giada De Laurentiis' books and dashed out the door. I thumbed through them the other night and found this recipe for salmon. It looked so appealing I just had to add it to the menu for the week.

I'm not a big recipe kind of girl. I prefer the food talk to me and my imagination create the dish. Other than baking, I rarely use a recipe. Having this blog has been good for me. It makes me write down recipes I've come up with, so when I'm 80 years old and my kids are asking, "hey mom, how did you make your meatballs?" I can give them the recipe instead of pointing to my grey-haired noggin and telling them it's all "up here". Because we all know that won't be very reliable.

Initially, I was like, "What the heck is a Brodetto?" figuring it must be some Italian version of broth, I actually thought of tossing it out. Broth just doesn't sound very important. Boy was I wrong! And I also remembered my husband's deep love affair with broth, sauces or anything that adds moisture to a dish and I went ahead and made it. I am so glad I did.

How many of you love Top Chef? If you do, you will know when I talk about the "Pea Puree" debacle. That was my other reason for making this dish. What is the big deal with pea puree? Up in arms over pea puree! Pea puree, pea puree! They just kept talking about it. Did Alex really steal it? Is anyone going to address this? I couldn't figure out what was going on , so I had to make some myself. I guess the mystery will be revealed when they do one of their "Reunion Shows", which are always terribly juicy and usually involve some one's catch-phrase on a t-shirt. I would have to guess, it will be Kenny's "The Beast" pasted in big bold letters on a snuggly fit tee.

Anyways, that's how I got to this recipe and let me tell you, it was so amazingly delicious! We paid a lot for salmon this week. Don't quite know what got into us. We got up to that counter and just ordered a butt-load of salmon at 14.99lb. Eeek! No worries, we inhaled it...everyone, even my little Tiny. Thirteen months old today and eating salmon like it was going out of style. So cute. Just had to share, but this is him in his very first pair of walking shoes. He just started taking his first steps last thurs. I can't tell you what this does to a mommy's heart. Oh Lord!

he's so proud.

Back to the salmon. So here's the recipe. Now, I am giving it to you just as she wrote it, but I did not follow it exactly. It's against my nature, I guess.

*Left out the Parmesan in the pea puree, because for me, it just didn't sound good with the salmon.
*Cut the olive oil in half to 1/4 cup and the other 1/4 cup I used chicken broth. Just a big lighter.
*Used shallot instead of garlic in the pea puree.
*For seasoning the salmon, I always use a pinch on sugar with the salt and pepper.

Salmon in Lemon Brodetto with Pea Puree
by Giada DeLaurentiis

Serves 4

Lemon Brodetto:


2 tablespoons olive oil
1 shallot, diced
2 lemons, juiced
1 lemon, zested
2 cups chicken broth
1 tablespoon chopped fresh mint leaves

Pea Puree:

2 cups frozen peas, thawed (about 10 ounces)
1/4 cup fresh mint leaves
1 clove garlic
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 cup grated Parmesan

Salmon:

1/4 cup olive oil
4 (4 to 6-ounce) pieces salmon
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper

Directions

To make the Lemon Brodetto, warm the olive oil in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add the shallots and saute until tender, about 7 minutes. Add the lemon juice, zest, and broth. Bring to a simmer, and keep warm, covered, over low heat.

To make the Pea Puree, combine the peas, mint, garlic, salt, and pepper in a food processor and puree. With the machine running, add the olive oil in a steady drizzle. Transfer the pea puree to a small bowl and stir in the Parmesan. Set aside.

To make the Salmon, warm the olive oil in a large, heavy skillet over high heat. Season the salmon pieces with salt and pepper. Sear the salmon until a golden crust forms, about 4 to 5 minutes on the first side. Flip the fish and continue cooking until medium-rare, about 2 minutes more depending on the thickness of the fish.

To assemble the dish, add the tablespoon chopped mint to the Lemon Brodetto and divide between 4 shallow dishes. Place a large spoonful of Pea Puree into the center of each bowl. Place a salmon piece atop each mound of Pea Puree. Serve immediately.

If you are looking for something different to do with your salmon this is the recipe for you. What I loved so much about it was the explosion of flavors. You have the buttery richness of the salmon, contrasted with the sweetness of the peas and the acidic broth cutting through it all to leave a lemony, minty lingering taste on your tongue. Truly wonderful.

Cheers, my dears!