Chopped On the Brain

If I were an Iron Chef...

I'm sitting here choking down a protein bar with a hot cup of coffee. Kinda hard to do. I also believe I jogged (soft "j") to the kitchen to get it. Don't really know why, but here I am trying to feed my brain so I can write you a little something.

I didn't know what a "cloche" was until I watched Chopped on Food Network. It's a dome shaped lid that covers food. It's pretty dramatic, really. I've never been to a restaurant where they serve anything under a cloche (pronounced "klosh"). I think I'd be pretty excited. It's like a surprise. Only on Chopped, it's a bad surprise if your dish makes it under the cloche.

If you haven't watched Chopped, it's a show where 4 chefs come and show of not only cooking skills but problem solving skills. They are given a basket of mystery ingredients for 3 rounds: appetizer, entree and dessert. Each 20-30 minute round someone is kicked off by a panel of hot-shot judges, mostly chefs themselves. These judges hand over a pretty hefty prize of $10,000 to the last chef standing. Not too shabby.

My panel of esteemed judges...lookin' kinda bored

A basket of mystery ingredients could be composed of the following things: kangaroo, fresh peas, peppermint candies and cabbage. Or how about, fresh turbot, ramps, Peruvian potatoes and gingersnaps. Or try your hand at, beets, Lucky Charms, pancetta and dates.(I just made these up, but they are pretty close to the real thing)

Usually what happens is that the first 3 items look pretty decent then they throw in a wild card ingredient that makes everyone roll their eyes, cuss or just look defeated before they can even heat up a saute pan.

From watching this show, I've learned some things. Don't fry stuff. Don't make cake. Don't leave cooking the meat until the end. Don't cook pasta for Scott Conant. Don't give Scott Conant red onions.

I get excited every Tuesday night to watch the mystery basket revealed. I always ask myself, "What would I make with that?" My husband says every time, "You could be on that show. You could do better than those real chefs." Isn't he sweet? Then we look at each other and laugh because we both know how frazzled I can get around dinner time when my own time crunch of wailing baby and irritable toddlers is impending.

But seriously, maybe I could do it. Maybe if I look tough enough they would overlook that I am a cooking school drop out- that I'm somewhat of a poser. Mom/foodie wanna-be chef.

I think my version of Chopped at home is even more intense, except for winning money. Come to think of it, I don't get paid at all for my job. Hmmph. I know good moms say, "I get paid in kisses and hugs and artwork of my children's hands". I'm a good mom but I say, "Honey, that don't pay for my scrap booking supplies and occasional Wal-mart shenanigans (click here for that morsel of goodness)". Oh right, the hubs pays for every thing. But I'm always quick to remind him that I'm the cheapest (as in free) and best daycare we could find.

Alright, Tangent Woman! Back to Chopped. Here is why I think I could do well on Chopped:

1. I can do the serious arm-folding pose to shut down any Iron Chef
2. I can sear a steak to medium rare while feeding a baby snacks, directing toddler traffic upstairs with my voice (aka yelling) and still plan for the next day in my head.
3. I can sharpen a knife on a sharpening steel
4. I cook for my own panel of judges every night.
5. I have had tons of practice.

So Chopped, put that in your basket and cook it! I know, I'm talking some trash. I know I would get frazzled but I could fare pretty well. I do tend to cut and burn myself a lot in the kitchen, so that might be a handicap (see Date Night at Foodie House for first hand, no pun intended, look at that). I'd be that poor sap with the latex glove on, tossing a salad with her hands as the blood pools in one of the fingers of the glove. Ewww. I would definitely try to avoid that situation.

I often have dreams at night where I am in a cooking competition. I never seem to get the dish done so then I guess that would be classified as a nightmare? Yeah, sorta. Regardless, I'm still tempted to fill out that Chopped form on-line, even though it clearly says it's for professional chefs*.

*A note on that, a couple of weeks ago there was a girl on there who's qualifications were that she had a chicken coop and thought she was "the best cook she knew"! She never said anything about the restaurant she worked for...nothing! So I thought, "Well, crap! I could get on there too!" I don't have the chicken coop thing going for me, but I've got experience in a stressful kitchen.

I'll let you know what happens.

Opera Eggs

Watch this scene from Moonstruck...it's one of the best scenes in the movie. So great! If the screen is black just click on it. (I apologize for the Geico commercial)

If I were take deviled eggs to the opera, they would have to be dressed up.

Cher goes to the opera. She acts reluctant, but in the quiet of her house as she is getting ready you can see the excitement bubble up. She's gone and had her grays covered, makeup done,  and buys a sassy little frock. She mets Nick Cage, wonky wooden hand and all, at the opera. She cries some of the most beautiful movies tears you have ever seen. I could go on and on. But I'm really here for the eggs. Speaking of eggs, this is such a "foodie" movie, the best toad-in-the-hole breakfast ever and made by Olivia Dukakis, no less.

Right, back to the eggs. Normally I think picnics and potlucks when I think deviled eggs. There's simply nothing wrong with that, just like there wasn't anything wrong with Cher in Moonstruck at the beginning of the movie, BUT she did long for some pampering and love...so do my deviled eggs.

I gladly answered their cry for a make-over. Rummaging through the frig is always the best way to find inspiration. I found some green onions, half a lemon that needed to be used, fresh dill, a half-eaten block of cream cheese, oh, and not found in the frig were two eager helpers. Eager doesn't usually equal delicate or gentle in my book, especially when it comes to three year olds peeling hard boiled eggs. I think Lily actually took the egg and whacked it on the counter like she was cracking a nut, split the darn thing in two. When that didn't work I sent them over to the sink to play in the dirty dishes...they happily obliged.

The way I grew up eating deviled eggs was the way my mom made them and I still think they are one of the best ways to eat them. Miracle Whip, yellow mustard, salt and pepper. That's it. None of my fancy stuff, but I just had to be fancy, I had Moonstruck on the brain.

My littlest one was looking on, munching on his cracker and looks like he's got something pretty important to say. Gosh, he's cute.

I must tell you, if  you have not seen Moonstruck, you absolutely must rent it. As you can see, its one of Cher's best performances and Nick Cage (I love how I call him "Nick", like I know him personally) is a complete wild man. Awesome. If you really want to get crazy, play La Boheme, while you make these.

Opera Egg Recipe (Made-over Deviled Eggs)

6 eggs, hard boiled
2 tsp. lemon juice
zest of half a lemon
2 tbls. cream cheese
2 tbls. miracle whip
1 tbls. minced fresh dill
1 green onion, minced
1/4 tsp. Dijon mustard
salt and pepper
6-8 crumbled croutons (click HERE to get my Quickie Crouton Recipe and Video)
Dill to garnish with

Best way to boil and egg. Cover your eggs with water in a heavy pan. Bring just to a boil. Turn off, cover, remove from heat and let set 10 min. Perfect eggs, no ugly green ring.

Chill eggs in ice bath, peel, cut in half lengthwise. Pop out yolks and set in a bowl. Add all ingredients except for croutons and extra dill. Mix well, taste for salt and pepper and put into a ziploc bag. Snip off corner and pipe in your filling into the egg whites. Top with crushed croutons and dill. YUM!

Here are the smashed eggs my kiddos helped me with. They are beautiful in their own toddler-esque way.

You could eat your old maid deviled eggs or you could find love and romance by making these Opera Eggs...(this is where I break out into my faux opera-singing voice, preforming an impromptu aria)

Happy egg deviling, my dears.

She Thought Herself Wylie Dufresne's Sous Chef...If Only For a Moment

(got this off of Sheknows.com, but I pretty sure they got it from Bravotv.com)

I tend to have a wild imagination - one that would often times get me in trouble during the school day in elementary, because I was usually looking out the window day dreaming. I still find myself swept away with my little mental escapades.

The other day, I was making frozen yogurt. I was thoroughly inspired by Lisa, over at Korean American Mommy, with her version of frozen yogurt. I had over-bought yogurt that week and need to use it up fast. I had never made frozen yogurt because it just didn't sound that good to me. I have two memories of frozen yogurt. One was the 1988 version of Dannon yogurt thrown in the freezer to make a solid block of unsweetened yogurt on the top with all the sweet stuff at the bottom. I remember trying to scrape away at the crystallized, rock hard yogurt with my plastic spork during lunch in the school lunchroom- frustrating to say the least. I would just reach the sweet fruity goodness at the bottom an the bell would ring. All that furious scraping for nothing. The other was TCBY "yogurt", which I know the slogan was "I Can't Believe It's Not Yogurt", but seriously, I don't believe it. Let's just call it what it was...soft serve ice cream.

So anyways, back to staring at the yogurt in my frig. I pull it out, grab a bag of frozen organic blueberries and went to work. Made the blueberry syrup, strained the yogurt, mixed it, froze it (in the ice cream freezer). As I scraped out the frozen goodness, I noticed an extra frozen sheath of yogurt stuck to the sides of the mixer. I was not leaving that. So I grabbed a spoon and started chiseling away. Seriously, chiseling. ( I was having a few lunch room flash backs) What came out were the most gorgeous shards of blueberry frozen yogurt. I took a bite. It was crispy, almost like a wafer, then it melted so perfectly on my tongue. I thought, "I could be Wylie Dufresne's sous chef. He would love this!" Then it occurred to me that he probably makes this kind of thing all the time and would be like, " that's what we give the cat when she is bad!". He's the king of molecular gastronomy. He freezes things with liquid nitrogen like he brushes his teeth, often and with vigor. I'm pretty sure his sideburns alone could whip up a decent tuna tar tar.

I grabbed a peach and halved it. I plopped it down for the photo shoot. It was now the vessel for my REAL frozen yogurt. I delicately placed a scoop of my freshly churned yogurt on top. It looked so lush sitting there as I took it's picture that I just had to take a bite. No need for spoons, just picked it up and bit it. What a great combo! Creamy cold blueberry yogurt on top of a room temperature juicy peach. Colors, textures, temperatures; all there and all working together harmoniously. This would be a great end to a great meal, especially on these hot summer nights.

So Wylie, if you ever need advice on how to freeze something without liquid nitrogen, give me a call.

Frozen Blueberry Yogurt

1 32 oz. container whole organic plain yogurt
1 10oz. bag frozen organic blueberries
1/4 cup (I'm going to stop saying "organic" just assume) sugar
1 tbls. agave nectar

Strain the yogurt for about 15 min to get out some of the moisture. While that's happening, cook down the blueberries with the sugar for about the same amount of time. Place in a bowl in an ice bath to chill it down. Add the agave to the strained yogurt and stir. I strained the blueberry mixture, but you really wouldn't have too.

Mix together, freeze in your ice cream maker and presto! Serve on peach halves or just by itself.

Emergency Cake

So, this relentless craving for chocolate cake has led me to this post. Call it PMS, call it fixation, call it haberdashery...whatever it is, I'm calling it Emergency Cake. If it could be encased in a small glass box, mounted on my kitchen wall with a tiny culinary hammer to tap the glass, so this insanely good cake could be released to me in my time of need, then I would have that installed today.

But, since that is not on the docket for the day, I will show you how stupid-easy this is to make! This is the proverbial bandage for those aching emotional issues. I know we are not to eat to deal with our issues...but this is not a cure, think of it more like a momentary taste bud trip equal to the effect of laughing gas.

Okay, remember last week, when I shared the Egg-Free Chocolate Cupcake recipe with you? Well, since I made them I could not stop thinking about them. The problem was, I didn't just want a sweet little cupcake. I wanted a SLAB of chocolate cake. I wanted something I could really sink my teeth into and feel like I ate a lead pipe afterwards.

So all you gotta do is click here for the cake recipe and then below is the easiest chocolate cake topping ever...GANACHE.

For the cake, I tweaked some things. First off, I baked it in an 8x8 pan (glass). Same temperature. It took about 37 min. to bake. I think I flipped it out of the pan a little too early (remember, this was an emergency) and broke off the corner of the cake, but I just stuck it back together again...better than Humpty-Dumpty, without any help from the king's horses or men. I then cut it into squares and topped with ganache. Oh my.

Ganache

1 cup heavy cream, heated until just bubbling
1 cup dark chocolate chips ( I used Gharidelli 60% cacoa)

Mix together. Keep mixing...don't give up. Now, mix with a whisk until extremely smooth. Set aside as your cake cools. Top your cake with this liquid heaven. I did each individual square as I served it...to myself.

So basically, I had my chocolate fix in about an hour, which is faster than most ambulances.

Shiny, luscious ganache, destined for greatness.

There are no words...

First bite.

Don't leave those little morsels.

Viola! That owl looks kinda jealous. Sorry, creepy bird.

Now you know what to do in case of an emergency. CPR is for wimps.*

*note: this is not medical advise from a healthcare professional. only a foodie would say that.

Your Bump-it Is Showing

I bought something dorky the other day at the grocery. An impulse buy. I bought a set of Bump-its. Guys, you're saying, "What's that?". Women your saying, "I wonder if they work?". I'm saying, for me, Bump-it was a bad choice.

I don't have very thick hair. Now postpartum, I have even less. Yes, it's coming back in but it looks like someone took a weed wacker to my hair line. So anyways, these Bump-its (I made fun of my mom for being mildly interested in them when she saw them on an info-mercial one day) were now being mindlessly thrown into my cart. I could always use a little more volume, I told myself.

Now for the story.

I need breaks from my kids. I am a 24/7 stay-at-home mom. Some days it just hits me. I must leave the house before I go nut-house crazy or go on strike. So I bolt, leaving the kids with my husband of course, so that means I must repress all feelings of bolting until the weekend. I bolt to where ever the hell I can go. Do I care? Not really. A quick stop at a convenience store for a 32oz. iced tea (unsweetened) but then I back it up with some much earned crap food. I try to reach for the protein bar, but my PMS is saying cupcakes. Guess who wins?

I go to Wal-Mart. Why? Why do I go there? Lauren, this is not a relaxing atmosphere. There is no soft music, only screaming children who seem to have parents wearing ear plugs. What aisle are those on again? Oh, right. You can't hear me? Genius. Stress level not going down. Trust me, I know about screaming kids...two 3 year olds and a nearly 1 year old. I get it. It happens. But it should not happen when I need a break. I know, I know, I asked for it by stepping foot in this super store jungle.

I walk over to the clothing department. I grab an arm-full of things. Summer dresses, tanks, t-shirts, quite a load. I don't normally buy clothes at Wal-Mart, just 'cause they don't stay together, but I was feeling adventurous, so...so, I thought I would torture myself. Little did I know the fun that lie ahead of me.

I walk up to the fitting room desk. It was a madhouse. There at a tiny desk, over-wrought with dressing room paraphernalia, was an older woman talking on a phone- old school phone, like the one I grew up with. Long stretchy, curly cord? Yes, you know. So, I wait patiently...for a minute. I stand and wait for her to address me. I listen to her conversation. It sounded like a non-Wal-Marty call. I was irritated. What? This is not time to catch up with Verna or to check what time the next bridge game is at the senior center. I'm a tired mom who needs to be let into a dressing room. It felt like 10 minutes, but I highly doubt that. It was more around three. She finally looks up at me, like I had just suddenly appeared or something, but I'm thinking its all an act. I mean, my eyes had been boring into her coiffed wig since the beginning of time, I know she knew I was there. Surprise! It's me! Haggard mommy.

She covers the phone with one hand, lowers it, scowls and then proceeds to ask how many garments I have. (Don't let Verna know you're at work!) I fumble through the now-tangled hangers of my "made in Malaysia" merchandise, to find I have nine items.

Her face drops. "You're only really allowed six." She clicks her tongue.

I bore even deeper into her wig, now penetrating to the scalp. It must of worked because then she says, "Okay, you can take nine, but only if you put them away when you are done."

I chuckle to myself. This is ridiculous. Isn't this the place that has their employees wear vests with "May I help you?" stamped on the back? It's more like "Help Yourself", but there aren't any cookies or punch laying round. "Help Yourself to Helping ME Out" is more like it. Maybe I could snag a fruit snack from that poor screaming kid over there.

Alright! Time for a mommy treat. Boy, was I going to be disappointed by this "treat". I should have taken the fruit snacks and ran. A Wal-Mart dressing room is never a treat. I do not understand the dressing room phenomenon. Why, oh why do they use those awful lights that somehow cast the most hideous shadow on my cellulite. I know it's there. I don't like it. I try to get rid of it. Do you want to sell clothes, Wal-Mart? Seriously. Where is the salesmanship in that?

I try on all NINE garments. With each one, I got more and more sad. It was awful. Nothing fit, everything was stupid. I tried on a dress that looked really cute on the hanger, but had horizontal lines so close together that it hurt my eyes to look at myself in the mirror. Not to mention, I am trying on all these clothes with my running shoes on and jeans down around my ankles, because I am too lazy to take off my shoes to remove my jeans. There is not a bit of clothing out there that looks good on anyone with their ankles looking like they're ready to go bungee jumping. Heidi Klum couldn't pull it off...okay, maybe she could.

So there I stand, I just yanked another wretched piece of wholesale haute couture over my head, when my Bump-it, (yes, I wore a Bump-it to Wal-mart, but didn't bother with makeup) gets snagged and dislodged enough to become crooked and now showing itself. I was too tired and frustrated to care, so I just left it. I hung up my clothes, grudgingly. I walked out, Bump-it exposed and all and went to lazily hang up my garments on the wrong racks because I just didn't give a, you know. I wanted to take all NINE of my clothing items and chuck them right at that crabby old woman's head. I really wanted to. I just wanted to pile them on top of her head, take that extra long telephone cord and strap them down, like she was going for a long cross country adventure. Horrible. I know. See what happens when your Bump-it is showing?

I walked around Wal-Mart so long and I got so tired that when I finally made it home with no purchases and extremely sore legs, I was happy to see my kids and hubby but not cook dinner for them. It was kinda a lose/lose situation except for the laugh I get every time I think of my Bump-it.

My First Wine Review!

Do I profess to be an expert? Could I call myself a sommelier? Heck, no. I just like wine. It tastes good, makes me feel good and is fun to try different kinds.

With all that preface on my qualifications, I am going to review Plow and Stars Riesling. It was a pleasant little surprise. I found it on my grocery journey at Whole Foods, and it was on sale for a perfect price of $7.99. Normally I find Riesling a bit too sweet; but of course, when I had just turned 21, Beringer White Zinfandel couldn't be sweet enough. Oh how the palate changes!

I will say, however, that the time we lived in Northern California and the time we spent wine tasting in Napa and Sonoma did help wean me off of cheap-o wines. Now, if there is nothing but a white zin at a party, that's fine with me. I'll drink some...I ain't proud. Besides, it's nice to revisit my first experiences with alcohol via pink, syrup-y wine, but it just doesn't taste as good to me as it used too. It's gotta be, for the simple fact, that I've learned there is so much more out there. Flavors, aromas, varietals and pairings.

So, back to Plow and Stars. I was very pleased. It's made from organic grapes, which was a nice plus, and it paired very well with the rock fish I made that night for dinner. My husband, who doesn't like sweet wines much at all, really enjoyed it.

This is what the back label said: Plow & Stars 2008 Riesling from Horse Heaven Hills in Columbia Valley, Washington is made from organically grown grapes. The vineyard is sustainably-farmed and stainless steel tanks were used exclusively to preserve the complex character of the Riesling grape. The crisp acidity makes this delicious Riesling a great companion to Asian cuisine, fusion cuisine, or seafood.

And this is how I would describe it: This wine is citrusy and light with a tiny tingle on your tongue (though I don't see any effervescence), and it made me think of all things summer- melon and peach in particular. It happily cuts through the steamy hotness of the Houston air and alleviates my temperature induced irritability (seriously).  It would be great with spicy food too and with a Thanksgiving turkey.

Like I said, we drank it with some rock fish that I pan seared and served with roasted sweet potatoes. Kinda an odd combo, but somehow it worked. The rock fish was buttery and a bit meatier than I expected, so the wine cut through the richness perfectly.

Anyways, that's my two cents. Give it a try, let me know what you think. Over all we were really happy with our new found wine. There's another wine over there that I've got my eye on. Couldn't tell you exactly what it is but when we try it, I'll let you know!

Also, any ideas for wines to try, let me know in the box below...let's shoot for $10 and under. This is a low budget production after all.

Cheers Dahhhhlings!

Organic Update: Whole Foods Revisited

Remember last week when I sent forth the Organic Challenge: What's Your View? Okay, I promised I would give you the low down on whether the food stretched or we felt it was worth it etc. So here's the highs and lows.

Best Purchase- The $15 turkey breast...not organic, but all natural, which means, no hormones, steroids or antibiotics. They are free roaming and well kept. Their diet is monitored but not promised to be organic. Okay, I can live with that. That turkey breast was approx. 2 1/2lbs. before cooking. It was dinner one night and a hefty sandwich fixin' the next day for four. Yes, the same one that was the proverbial Phoenix rising from the ashes with the curry crust. Click here to get the recipe. It was so luscious and moist; it sliced beautifully for a sandwich on crusty bread, aged cheddar cheese and a big handful of lettuce. Totally worth the initial cost. It was a bargain with the amount of meals we made out of it. We still have a nubbin' of it left in the frig.

Coupons!- I guess I was expecting that Whole Foods wouldn't have coupons. But they do and they are good ones. Most all are a dollar, some even $2 off. The fliers at the entrance of the store are full of them and then I found yesterday (after my trip to the store...wah, wah.) that there are more on line, click here! So take advantage.

Buy one, Get one free?- Yes, WF (we will refer to Whole Foods as WF from now on) had some two-fers going on. I found a fabulous, I mean fabulous, all natural smoked sausage, buy one get one free. No nitrates or preservatives. Meat was all natural etc. Awesome. It was so delicious, much less salty and process-y tasting.

Did the food stretch all week long?- The answer is YES! I was surprised. When I looked in our basket I thought, I'm for sure going to have to run to the big Texas market, that is close to my house, at least once this week...ehm, okay, I just remembered. I did have to go there once, but it wasn't because we ran out of food, it was for stuff like diapers and stuff I just plain forgot at WF. But as far as what we bought, cooked and prepared from WF, it was plenty and we were quite satisfied.

365 and WF brand- Their version of generic brand, great quality, good price. I buy their organic milk, canned items and the frozen pizza was great and a fab price!

One of my favorite "SCORE!" items-Well, as I was meandering over to the bread section, bracing myself for the price of organic bread, I was distracted by the WF fresh baked items. What I found was loaves of their rustic Italian mini breads for 99 cents each! The ingredients are simple and organic. It looks and tastes like white, crusty bread but a bit healthier. Is it as healthy as the 18 grain bread? Probably not, but for it being organic and delish...it was going in the basket. I got 4 loaves and 3 loaves would have lasted the week. But SUCH A GOOD BUY! The bread is so great for toasting...it's amazing. It was even more amazing as I saw the price for the organic regular loaf bread for $4.95 a loaf.

Other pluses- I found that because we were spending a bit more for our food, placing more focus on choosing better quality and buying less over all, we were more careful and caring with our food. I think it's a good way to look at our food, making it stretch, not be so wasteful and in turn getting better food down into our tummies creating healthier bodies.

Two words, Olive Bar- It's $8.99 lb. It's a buffet of salty, rich, meaty olive-y-ness. My personal favorite? A green olive that I cannot remember the name of, let alone pronounce, but I know it from the cafes along the sea walk in Naples. They aren't overly salty, that's why I like them and they have such a oily, olive flavor. Oh, so good. And the most perfect color of green.

Let down, sorta: Things are just more expensive but not just for the sake of being expensive. You really are getting better quality. But for things like diapers, trash bags, Q-tips and razors, those best be bought at Target or Wal-mart. Ya know? Also, I think the more I shop there the more I will figure out the in's-n-out's of the place.

I will say I am pleased with WF. Service is superb. I truly enjoyed "grilling" the fish monger and butchers. I can't help myself. I mean, I am paying an arm and leg for meat now, so they better give me the 411 on it all. And you know, I can honestly say, they deliver every time. I've machine-gunned questions at about 4 different meat/fish peeps and they have all been knowledgeable, kind, helpful and quick to answer. So they get the Foodie House stamp of approval. Tip on the meat/fish: I buy 3 meat/fish items for the week. Last week it was the turkey breast, salmon and house made hot dogs. The rest of the nights were leftovers or a vegetable main. It was not hard to do. I was so pleasantly surprised. This week was house made sausage (for sausage lentil soup), rock fish (which was insane) and skirt steak which will be made into fajitas.

Oh! I forgot to mention the produce. It's just exquisite. The strawberries I got this week were organic and so incredibly delicious. I have lowered my expectations of strawberries in the past because no matter how good they looked they would always fall short of being really, really good. They could be bright red, perfectly shaped but so tasteless it was pointless to even eat them. But these, oh these were beautiful and juicy, sweet, soft and full of taste! Now I know what I've been missing out on. Don't even get me started on the peaches...

Cheers, my dears!