How Does She Do It?...Or Not Do It. Waking Up, Foodie House Style

I find the mornings I try my best to be quiet, down here in the kitchen, are the mornings that the kitchen comes alive and is determined to foil my plans.

When you live in a house and are mother to 3 very small children, you fight for your right to...have peace and quiet. No matter how small the window of time may be. I can be pretty fierce about my quiet time. This isn't the first time I've written about it. (see Mommy Snack) I write about it because my mind is allowed to have it's own thoughts, not the thoughts of my brood. As much as I do love them, I'm tried of answering "why", "what are you doing, Mommy?", "what's that, Mommy?" (that one I get ALL the time and its for something they know exactly what it is. So I just answer them with the same question, because I refuse to answer it.) or the always dependable, "We go shopping?" (a.k.a. "are we going somewhere today?)

I get up an hour and half before my children do. I sneak around the kitchen trying to make my coffee in the the coffee pot that has the completely wrong time on it and that I am too lazy to change. I make my movements extra "stealth" but in reality it's as if my limbs work in a less graceful manner than if I weren't trying hard at all.

I open the cabinet door to reveal the holy grail of coffee cups...mine. "Mine" happens to be the cup that is the biggest and is located in the front portion of the shelve, keeping things quiet and peaceful. Right. Getting it out is easy, its the setting down of the mug on granite that proves to be a 9 on the difficulty scale. You see, I have NOT yet had my coffee, so it's definitely a challenge. I would love to have a butler for coffee retrieval, like the one in Meet Joe Black. He gives Brad Pitt peanut butter for the first time. Yeah, that guy would be great.

So, I somehow get the coffee made, but not without banging the glass coffee pot on the edge of the sink, dropping a spoon or slamming closed a drawer that I had no intention of slamming. I was trying to use my hip to gently scoot the drawer to a semi-shut position, but no, I don't know how, but it still slams.

I'm not what you would call hungover, but I did have a glass or two of sangria last night. Your probably wondering why this post is not about that. I concur (love that word, it's up there with rogue). I tried to get you some pictures last night of that giant jug of fruity wine perfection, but no go. The pictures were just terrible! Stuff was stuck to the sides of the pitcher, finger prints danced around the edge and I had no time to mess with it because my littlest child was screaming constantly if he was not being held and my neighbor Teri was over showing me how to make stir-fry. I will make you the sangria again, I promise. It was truly delish, but now I'm super duper groggy. Bad mommy!

Final wardrobe note: I have the most ridiculous concoction of fashion seen on a mommy this year. You see, I really do use clothes to merely cloth myself in the morning. Fashion goes out the window with my pride. I mean, who cares what I look like when I'm wiping poopy butts and bathing my duo of 3 year old madness? I found it so amusing at how far down hill my morning fashion has gone that I had to share.

Setting: Catwalk constructed of kitchen tile, flanked by strewn kitchen stuff and half-prepared breakfast foods.
MC: [enter Lauren, gimping down the catwalk, frying pan in hand, disheveled hair and a crooked smile on her face] Lauren is wearing mis-matched perfection. Donning a robe 2 sized too small with a belt that belongs to her army green skirt, she emanates practicality and inventiveness. Her leggings are functionality at it's best, with slits cut at the kneecaps for maximum movement and comfort. Lauren enjoys strolls on the beach and margaritas. Thank you Lauren! [wimpy "golf clap" is heard in the audience, residing on this side of crazy!]

So anyways, I'm nursing my gigantor mug of coffee while writing to you Foodie Friends. I've gotta say, I love you all quite dearly. When I don't post, I feel a disconnect. It's possible I am addicted. I've made so many new friends through this journey of blogging. When I read your comments, my heart just soars. I wish I could hug everyone of you.

Much love and thank you for reading my mind wanderings, powered by a half-mug of coffee and a Clif bar.

She Raided the Hurricane Stash...Quickie Summer Chicken and Pasta Salad

Nap time is a time for mommies to get much needed breaks from their cherub children. Sometimes mommies will indulge in a movie and completely forget that they still have to make dinner and care for children once they wake up. Sometimes mommies forget to defrost some meat for dinner and are left wondering what to make with an hour to spare. (the movie was Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton's newest creation. It was delightful and I had a hard time snapping out of it and back into reality)

I enter the pantry and start digging. I have to say, I did tap into the Hurricane Stash. Cringe. Cardinal sin this time of year and to make it even more sinful, I used canned chicken. Please don't stop reading now...pretty sure you've all done it at one time or another. Anyways, this was an emergency in it's own right.

I grab the forbidden canned chicken breast (the giant can-size you get at Sam's Club) all the while waiting for the Red Queen, (or the Queen of Hearts), to start screaming "Off with her head!". But I left the pantry unscathed and head attached.

Raiding the frig is so much fun. Especially when I don't know what I am doing. As I peer into the vegetable drawers, my mind is ticking away at how I can form what is in there into food that will be good, creative and fun to eat. I am reminded of a pasta salad my mom used to make when I was a kid.

We would spend all day at the pool. Once we got home, the only thing we could focus on was our hunger. (swimming always makes me insanely hungry.) We would make whatever was quick and didn't heat up the house. One of those dishes was a cold tuna pasta salad with peas and tiny chunks of cheddar cheese. There was lots of mayo and green onion. I think the peas were there only to create what looked nutritious. It was cold, creamy and filled up our swimmer-hungry bellies just fine.

So, inspired by such a salad but not by the calories, I skimmed it down to lighter ingredients and injected fresh herbal and citrus notes. I threw in some fruit for sweetness too. I think the greatest thing about this all-in-one meal is that you could use shrimp or flaked fish from the night before. It could be one of those salads where you dump in all the veggies that are on their way to veggie heaven, before they expire, that is. It would be great for a girls luncheon (though, I never go to anything called a "luncheon", don't quite know why I'm even using that word, except this is the kind of food us girls like.) or a baby shower. But as feminine as this salad may be, it was still masculine enough for the hubs to chomp it down like a man.

 light sour cream

light mayo

me chopping, seemingly incredibly fast, but not.

organic Gala apples, small dice

lemon squeezy

salad being mixed and making that luscious, sticky-smooshy sound

The soft focus on this pic makes me want to sing an angelic "Ahhh-hh!"

sprouts for crunch

toasty bread for even more crunch...you know I like my crunch.

marveling at the crunch...the fork is jealous in a "forky" kind of way.

Summer Chicken and Pasta Salad

prep time: 1hr.

serves: 4

1/2 lb. orecchiette pasta, or whatever you like, cooked al dente, cooled under cold running water
1/4 c. (heaping) light sour cream
1/4 c. (heaping) light mayo
Zest of one lemon
Juice of half a lemon
1/3 c. finely chopped fresh basil (about 4 large sprigs)
1 green onion, finely chopped
1 stalk celery, finely chopped
1 gala (or other) apple, small dice
1 handful of grapes, cut in half
1 large can of chicken breast or 1 cup cooked chicken, fish, shrimp
Salt and Pepper
Clover sprouts for garnish
Toasty, crusty bread to eat with it

Dump everything into a large bowl and mix it up. Now if you are super hungry, like we were, just eat right away, but otherwise letting it set in the frig for an hour will give the flavors time to marry. Top with your crunchy sprouts and serve with bread.

Stay cool, Foodies!

Who's That Lady? Mom's Big 60!

That's my mom and it's her birthday today. The big 6-0. She's a beauty of a mom and woman. Taught me lots of things like how to appreciate beauty in the everyday, laugh at the ridiculous and the importance of a craft. So we took her out and let her get smashed. Well, not really. Maybe just a little tipsy..."mom tipsy".

My parents, aren't they cute and youthful? I love this picture.

We celebrated a little early. We splurged at Capital Grille, here in Houston. It's one of our favorite restaurants for special occasions. A beautiful red rose was waiting for mom at the table when we arrived, as well as a card signed by all the employees. Confetti danced across the table and champagne was served as soon as we sat...free champagne.

Mom had a few sips of her gratis champagne and started saying how she could already "feel it". She slowed down on that, so she could order something harder. Something they like to call the Doli Stoli. Fresh, sweet Dole pineapple soaked in Stoli vodka for 2 weeks then served to unsuspecting moms like mine. I believe it too, was also on the house.

 She nursed the drink while enjoying her first course of Tomato, Basil and fresh mozzarella salad with 12 year old Balsamic vinegar. Gorgeous.

I had the Wedge salad but I was too busy doing this to get a good picture.

See how the hubs tolerates me? That's my swagger, yo!

(Elain:[telling Jerry about her date the night before] Yada yada yada...I had the lobster bisque.

Jerry: What!? You just "yada, yada, yada-ed" over the best part.

Elaine: I did mention the lobster bisque.) 

Okay, it may be a bit butchered, but I can't help but think of that episode of Seinfeld EVERYTIME someone says "lobster bisque". It's a sickness. Anyways, both the boys had to get it. It was served with a table-side addtion of sherry. They were most pleased with the accutrement. We all had to try it. It's like liquid butter and lobster stock with the hint of sherry.

                           

The main reason I love Capital Grille, as far as food goes, is for the aged sirloin. Remember, I'm meat and taters girl, so for me, this place is heaven. Here it is in all it's glory, bone-in, porcini crusted and seared to a perfect medium temperature. Mom and I split the steak because only a caveman could consume such a side of meat, and being as we are such dainty women, we had no choice but to split it...and we still had enough to bring home and eat for lunch the next day!

Dad was a member of the "clean plate club", as he likes to call it, after completely enjoying this decedent "Oscar" tenderloin. Succulent tenderloin topped with jumbo lump crab and a hollandaise sauce.

Mom and I have a love affair with lavosh crackers or bread, whatever it is, we love it! I remember as a child getting it at the store and rushing home to smear butter over it and eat with reckless abandonment. I happily re-lived that memory as I ordered an extra basket of it, you know, to soak up the champagne.

Then came dessert. Not just one, but three! We were already stuffed to the hilt with meat, lobster bisque, salad, fried calamari and lavosh. Now we have to conquer THREE desserts? Okay.

                            

What happened to the 59 other candles?

All in all, I think mom had a blast. It was nice to be out without the kids, be regular grown-ups, not as in "normal", but as in non-parents and just celebrate together the life of the most important woman in my life, my mom. I love you, MOM!

Heart-y Tarts: A Pictorial Jam

The Queen of Hearts she made some tarts...

Sometimes my ingredients go rogue on me. Most every third recipe I make has at least one ingredient that decides it wants to be bad, refuse to be used or just go rotten all together. Yesterday it was the Crisco.

The Crisco flew off my knife and landed squarely on the floor. It was obviously playing the role of antagonist.

(enter Crisco wad, 2 tbls. Resists as much as a lump of Crisco can resist being cut into cubes)

Crisco [glaring at Baker]: Take that, you piece of motherly baking tart fool!

[jumps off the knife onto the dirty kitchen mat]

Baker [gasps]: Ahh!...crap.

[Baker looks at her Mother, Mother looks back at her and they both bust out laughing. Baker grabs the camera. With grease laden fingers she attempts to take pictures, while calling the Crisco "rogue" (her new favorite word).]

The butter on the other hand was angelic. Definitely the protagonist.

(enter Butter. Butter sheepishly gazes up at the Baker, batting her eyes, happily sacrificing her life for the sake of the tarts. Baker chops Butter into 1/2" pieces...all 2 sticks of her.)

Baker [gently sighing]: Oh Butter, you're so bad for me, yet you are willing to be chopped into oblivion in the food processor, not a single word out of you like your evil twin Crisco. (One small tear trickles down Baker's cheek, then exclaims with reckless abandonment) You inspire me! You move me! I will take a picture of your fatty goodness!

[Baker gently arranges butter cubes into an artistic pile of fat in her newly acquired bowl. She giggles with glee as she photographs the perfectly cubed, obedient butter]

You're thinking, "Wow. She's really off her rolling pin." That may be true, but the tarts don't lie. They turned out to be delightful little treats that would please any Brit, Alice in Wonderland fanatic (such as myself) or anyone who enjoys making and eating tarts.

Let the pictorial drama unfold before your eyes.

that's egg wash going on right there.

creating a dam for the jam

before baking

after

Recipe for Pie Crust (adapted from my Cuisnart Food Processor pamphlet)

(this is the recipe for a two-crust pie, so cut it in half if you don't want to make as many tarts. Depending on your tart size, I would say this would make between 16 and 24 little tarts.)

3 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. baking powder
5-8 tbls. ice water
16 tbls. butter, cubed and well chilled
2 tbls. Crisco, cubed and well chilled
2 tbls. sugar (my addition, to make it a little sweet)
1 jar of your favorite jam. I used strawberry, but raspberry, apricot or even blueberry would be really yummy! (For my 8 little tarts that I made, I used about 1/2 cup. So, if you made the whole recipe, I guess you would use about 1 1/2 cups.)

In your food processor, sift together the flour, salt and baking powder by pulsing for 10 seconds. Add the chilled butter and shortening. Do 15-20 rapid pulses until it's like cornmeal texture. Sprinkle in 3 tbls. of ice water and pulse 5-6 times. Do this again with another 2-3 tbls. water. Add just enough water for it to come together but not ball up. It should hold together when you pinch it.

Turn it out onto a floured surface. Press it together, making it into a little disc. Wrap and chill in frig for 30 minutes. While it chills, you chill....hard work.

Roll out your dough to 1/8" thick. Cut out in what ever shapes you like. I like hearts and that other weird shape is supposed to be a playing card. Sorta free-handed that one. Anyways, choose what you like, but for all of the shapes I made little "dams" to hold in copious amounts of jam. I cut 1/4-1/2" strips to adhere around the edges of each tart. Dab on egg wash and lay it down. Follow the rest of the pictorial. Pretty easy.

I brushed the tops of the crust with egg wash for a nice golden brown. Bake your cutie tarts at 375 degrees for approx. 25 min.  Let them cool before you sneak a bite! Boiling hot jam will keep you on the injured foodie list for a while.

Cheers, Foodie Friends!